Unfathomable version of my coded frustration....

Thursday, July 24, 2008


The rainy spells this week are giving me the blues. May be not...life is full of blues and the rains are just contributing to it! Who cares...its a perfect time to put a new post :)

Here is something i want to add to my frustrating blog. Its a relative comparison between two families...i don't want to unwrap the subject and tell everybody what this comparison refers to directly. Only thing i can mention is that, these two families are the unending, inseparable, perpetual and everlasting parts of my life. I am hurt a little bit...to be honest...i am hurt a lot...and the abyss of time is not healing my hurt soul this time...and that is what has led to these unfathomable words below!

They are four and they face each other,
We are four and our backs face each other!

They don't care if whole worlds a mess,
We care, care, care,and our worlds a mess!

Nothing departs them...they are "A Square",
We stand at 4 corners...we protect "The Square"!

They are always inside the circle,
We always watch the boundary!

They are cool when they are within "them",
We breath hot fumes when we are amongst "us"!

They are honest to each other....we are too,
But...the styles are different!
They love each other...we do too,
But...the ways are variant!

Sometimes
It hurts,
But still
It works,

It is the good old version of life,
Where "Change" is not critical... but impossible!

Deal with it and be "A Part",
This attitude will never set you "Apart",
They and Us are not the same,
Thats your life, so, nothing to blame,
Play it calm and its your game!

I hope its not tooooo absurd and irrelevant for the readers...since it is related to my personal life, i couldn't loosen the thread right away! So, the frustration is a little bit coded this time. Try to decode your version and give comments :)

Coffee and starbucks...Means of my survival

Friday, July 11, 2008


STARBUCKS is a survival ...yes surely it is!
What else do you need while writing a thesis and striking your head over couple of nonsense graphs....to be technical about it, absurd or fatuous pictorial device such as a pie chart or a bar graph, used to illustrate quantitative relationships...who in this world would live without a cup of coffee to bring relief from the effects of tension and anxiety. A transient storm of lightning and thunder with rains and gusty winds incorporate and bless these tense and stressful situations which allows me to ask myself for a reason to have one more cup of coffee.

I know this line from somewhere "Its not the coffee...its whom you drink with"

Ya...right...i love this line too but its not always true. Romance should be in the air to lean in fanciful daydreams associated with the coffee and then it matters with whom you drink it. The time when you write an 80 page document and still dont have any clue what you are at...thats when you tend to drink the coffee alone....by yourself...under frustrating thoughts...to overcome your headache and freshen up yourself for the next frustrating moment coming in....get ready for the war again... :)

What amazes me is the act of drinking coffee at different times....Be it in a state of mental agitation or disturbance that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort, often accompanied by physiological changes or be it a breakfast mood on the way to your office, it might be as well perfect on a date and many more such instances. Coffee belongs to or is a characteristic of romanticism, emotions, frustrations, depressions, love and feelings.

And what would it cost to drink a coffee with a starbucks flavor added...that too Cafe Mocha...ahh!Mocha is a type of 'chocolatey' coffee bean (from Mocha in Yemen)...Unlike cappuccino, cafe mochas do not contain the well known milk froth on top. It usually has whipped cream and a dusting of either cinnamon or cocoa powder....wow...i love it...moreover my mood swings love it...they are on track after a sip...good to go for the next fight buddy!

I am heading out to Starbucks now...

Life is Short!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I am uneasy since yesterday night. We saw this movie, "P.S. I Love You" and i was totally sunk in my own tears. I didn't enjoy the movie coz i was crying all the way through it.

"PS, I Love You" is Irish writer Cecelia Ahern's first novel, published in 2004 adapted by the film in 2007, "PS, I love you".Holly (Hillary Swank) has been married at the age of 19 to a handsome named Gerry (Gerard Butler), an Irish gentleman. He is the only love of her life and they have big plans for the future. However, Gerry is stricken with tumor and he dies, leaving Holly desolate. Much to her surprise, letters start arriving from Gerry, under unusual circumstances, letters that provide encouragement for Holly to move forward with her life. Gerry suggests Holly to do some karaoke and take a vacation to Ireland, where she visits his relatives. Holly truly overcomes the serious blow that life has given her and survives through these letters and finds her lost self...one year later to Gerry's death, she tells her friend, "I dont feel Gerry around me anymore, i think he is really gone"...oh gosh! this struck me so bad...time is always a solution. Human being is so strong. It doesnt take much out of you to recover and lead your own life. At the very beginning, people sympathize, as time passes by, they are tired of your healing wound....they just want it to be healed ASAP. The instances at which holy imagines his presence, feels his touch and tries to hear him by calling his cell phone and listening to the answering machine....oh god!it just killed me. At the age of 30, this women had to be apart from her good looking, handsome and caring hubby and live by herself rest of the life....deciding not to fall in love again, trying to be away from the sexual drive she often had to fight against and live a widow's life which is good for nothing. On the other hand, not to blame and curse the feelings if they go wild for another man since she is a human being after all and live in the guilt that poor Gerry...who was honest to me till the solid end of his life and i am piece of a shit who cannot be a good enough loyal person...

God!I was so upset and uneasy throughout the movie and was holding my hubby tight in my arms with all the possible insecurity gathered in my breath...after all it rolls down to you and your relationship and the delicate moments of life that you waste in the fights, rage and egos. Every moment is precious...whatever it takes to be with your man holding him tight, co-ordinating with his heart beats and LIVING the moment...coz life is short people :(